Vote for me

As long as everyone else seems to be running for chairman of the Republican Party, I figure I should thrown my hat into the ring too. At first glance, it might look like I'm a long shot: I'm not a Republican and don't like the Republicans. But look at my qualifications: I'm a male, I'm a white male, I'm an over fifty white male, I'm more internet savvy than most of the other candidates, I'm unemployed, so I could start immediately. My platform is that I would help them close the store and fade off into history with a modicum of dignity. They could do worse.